* Spoilers are highlighted like so :)
I’ve seen Bigfoot’s W-2.
Anonymity is better than a bulletproof vest down in the information underground.
The few guys in there were so listless they made Keanu Reeves look like Samuel L. Jackson.
Never talk about religion, politics, or hate group affiliation.
Monsters are a real thing, too—although the preferred term is “cryptid,” mostly so
grown men don’t have to stand around saying “monster.”
It
was like candy and I were an estranged couple that was thinking about a
night of drunken sex together, but I’d just found out that candy had
taken up fucking clinical test subjects for smack money.
Crotch soccer might not be honorable, but sometimes it’s the only option.
Long story short: don’t call a Templar Knight “shitbird” unless you know how to use a
broadsword.
“You’re just stuffed with rainbows and kittens, aren’t you?”
If something has a neat little bow, you can bet pesos to pantaloons it’s bullshit.”
The salesman never pitches you on how many assassins can sleep in the backseat.
That’s
all well and good, but I wanted to save myself. It wasn’t like I had a
vice-me that could take over in the event of my untimely death.
I was wondering if my life was flashing before my eyes, and all that was coming was
awkwardness and commercials. Hell of a life.
“You catch even more flies with a flamethrower.”
I had some office jobs, but it turned out that I’m no good in an office. I was legitimately
worried that I’d snap and kill everyone.
“Well, you are the Antichrist.”
Apparently I was getting good at spitting my martini across the room.
“You might be confusing Satan with Bizarro Superman.”
“In this business, faith isn’t so much tested as it is beaten about the head and neck with a sock full of batteries.”
Mr Blank by Justin Robinson
* Received ARC from the publisher for review
* Book will be released October 23, 2012
5 out of 5 gnomes
I
adore this book. I had no idea that I would enjoy this book so much,
you never do learn the narrator’s real name but that’s what makes it so
interesting. This is one of those stories that just draws you in and
will have you racing towards the last page all while actually laughing
out loud a lot.
The
narrator or the story is one of those guys that blends into the
background. He’s blending in on purpose though because that’s what
keeps him alive. As the first line of the book states: “EVERY CONSPIRACY NEEDS A GUY LIKE ME.”
He does the grunt work for a myriad of organizations/secret societies.
The fun part is that the reader gets to see everything through his
eyes and the structures and people that you meet in the various
organizations are really funny.
He’s
making a pretty good living with these random jobs until one job leads
to him almost being killed. Things just snowball from there into some
truly crazy situations. These crazy situations are where the book gets
truly intriguing because the narrator has to figure out what the heck is
going on oh and how to stay alive.
The
noir-like vibe and humor is what really cements everything together.
The characters and situations are extremely well written, you can just
easily visualize exactly what’s going on while reading. I think this
world would make for a tremendous tv show or movie.
Being
a tale full of noir it’s inevitable that the narrator would run into
one heck of a dame. Mina is not your typical damsel in distress. She’s
a plus-size model with a lot of attitude who also kicks some serious
butt. Her reactions to the crazy situation she finds herself in are
very believable and most times she was the one that found the best
solution to problems. They have almost a buddy cop like dynamic that’s
hilarious to read.
Overall
this book is a fast and funny read. I recommend it highly especially
if you love a good mystery and a book that’s full of funny. I know I’m
looking forward to seeing what the author chooses to write next. Make
sure to give Mr Blank a chance and check out this book when it’s released on October 23.
