Tuesday, December 15, 2015

My Favorite Quotes/Lines - Fart Squad

“Terrifying tales were told of what had happened to the last poor soul who had eaten them.”

“Possibly,” Stan said, “but do you really want them to? Seems to me you’ve all been given some very special gifts. Smelly, but special.”

“Timing is everything, especially where farts are concerned!”

“Oh dear!” he shrieked. “I suspect I should not have indulged in that second burrito!”

“From great farts come mighty winds!”

Monday, December 14, 2015

Sentence Sneak Peek - Fart Squad

Fart Squad by Seamus Pilger Illustrated by Stephen Gilpin

The first sentence from each chapter of Fart Squad, it's a mini summary of what you can expect to read.


* Spoilers are highlighted like so :)

“Darren Stonkadopolis was determined to make it to the end of the school year without getting into any more trouble.”

“I’ve told you before,” the janitor said, “stay out of the basement.”

“It was recess, and the playground on the roof of the school was filled with kids enjoying the fresh air.”

“Darren still needed to get back in Miss Priscilly’s good graces, or kiss sports camp good-bye.”

“The next day found Darren stuck at a school assembly and not very happy about it.”

“I thought I smelled you coming!”

“Welcome to Fart Boot Camp!”

“So where were you on Saturday?”

“The Fart Squad refueled in a hurry.”

“Darren chased Harry out of the basement and up three flights of stairs.”

“Back at school, Stan took custody of the “special” burritos, saving them until the Fart Squad was needed again.”

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Weekend Read - Marked in Flesh

Thanks to NetGalley, I received a copy of this book early. :)

Anne Bishop is one of my favorite authors, I first discovered her books in high school and have loved them since then. She just has has such a way with characters and probably has the best world building I’ve read.



Thursday, December 10, 2015

Review - Alien in Chief

Alien in Chief by Gini Koch

* Read via publisher for review

5/5 gnomes

Love this series so much. You never know what's going to happen next. Twelve books in now and I still adore the characters and care about what happens to all of them.

Bought one of Koch's tuckerizations [wikipedia’s definition can be found here]  awhile ago and was very happy to see my name in this book. :) Can't wait to see what this character does.

The hybrid kids continue to be really interesting too, especially Jamie. You have to wonder what they'll all be like grown up.

More then one plan abounds and it definitely doesn't bode well. I really like how this story also brings in pieces from some of the short stories too which are definitely great seeing how everything fits together.

From the title of the book you can guess what happens at least to one character, I didn't know how it would happen though and it's pretty sad/unexpected. The pace of this book can best be described as rollicking and mysterious.

So much chaos in this book, it really is like an intense action movie. There was even a pretty good fake out about who's funeral would be happening. Plus what's happening on the cover of the book pretty much happens in the story too.

If you haven't checked out this series then you should start it ASAP. If you love caring about characters, actually laughing out loud, and crazy stories then this series is for you. This one actually ended with a cliffhanger too, which I think is a first for the series. I of course am now eagerly awaiting the next book even more.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

My Favorite Quotes/Lines - Alien in Chief

* Spoilers are highlighted like so :)


“Thanks for always being there for me.”

“And Becky’s here, too.”

“Ah, well,” Amy said slowly, “that’s one of the names we’ve been talking about—Rebecca Ann. But it’s not the only one.”

“It’s the one she likes,” Jamie said. “And she wants to be called Becky by her friends.”

“And if things get dull, we can always take them to Disney World.”

“He said that suggestions in these matters from the woman who averted the total destruction of Earth at least twice probably should be listened to.”

“And all the women fight nastier than all the men, other than Christopher.”

“She heaved a sigh. “But you’re right. I don’t want to do anything that puts . . . Becky at risk.”

“However, my experience was that the people really trying to kill me liked to call me and make it all really personal.”

“I treat bullies the same way you do and always have.”

“I had bulletproof glass installed years ago and I test it regularly, so look at the street as much as you want.”

“Your enemy doesn’t have that mindset. Remember that—it’s his strength. And he knows you don’t want to lose anyone, and that’s your weakness.”

“He laughed. “Just remember that your real strengths are that you always think outside the box and nothing actually throws you. Metaphorically.”

“There is. As always I’ll keep your needs and requirements foremost in my mind.”

“Aliens Were Weird was a statement I still repeated daily, though usually in my mind or under my breath.”

“That’s because I am the loose cannon.”

“I realize that’s not the Political Weasel Word of the Day Way, but it’s our way, and I strongly suggest you try our way for a while.”

“Just accept that I’m part hobbit, Mom. Action and boredom both make me hungry, what can I say?”

“No, but you’re happy helping the people of this country, and the world. You’re one of the few whose heart, head, and actions are always in the right place.”

“We were a well-oiled politically incorrect team.”

“Hey, if it was a Talk While You Kick Ass fight, I was damned well going to represent.”

“No one shoots at my animals you bastard!”

“This was nowhere on my Top Ten Ways To Die list.”

“That’d teach them to Side With Evil.”

“I was going to ache all over when this was done, but at least I now knew I had an alternate career in the WWE’s Ladies’ Division.”

“Wonder Triplets Powers Activate.”

“Someone very smart has always told me not to believe in coincidence.”

“Why yes, Ambassador. Your megalomania skills are in top form.”

“What did the bird suggest?” Jeff asked in the voice of a man who’s not sure who’s crazier, the world around him or himself.”

“But if what I wanted always happened, I’d have a normal life and that apparently wasn’t in my particular deck of cards.”

“Wise man knows when to take the naps.”

“Oh, Gigantagator and Alliflash were our friends, never doubt it.”

“But a rose by any other name would still kick the same amount of butt.”

“Clearly Georgia gators weren’t as feisty as their Florida brethren.”

“I’m not ready,” he said quietly. “Not for this.”

“Because, as we’ve seen, they can try to take the woman out of the fight, but they’ve never taken the fight out of the woman.”

“No, but apparently our entire extended circle should be doing Little Theater in the off hours. What do you guys think is going on?”

“Adriana was a great shot, for which I thanked God and Olga.”

“Wow. We really are Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, aren’t we? Let’s hope we get a better ending.”

“You’re my wolves, so not lone.”

Rebecca Ann Gaultier-White has officially arrived,” Melanie said. “And she’s perfect. Mother and baby are doing great.” “Christopher, on the other hand, is a blubbering mess,” Emily said. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone about that, though.”