Monday, December 29, 2014

Sentence Sneak Peek - Unidentified Funny Objects 3

Unidentified Funny Objects 3 Edited by Alex Shvartsman

The first sentence from each chapter of Unidentified Funny Objects 3, it's a mini summary of what you can expect to read.

* Received from author for review.

Patient Name: Tamara “Puff” Jones

Insurance: Silver Shield State Coverage w/Metahuman Rider.

“While I certainly didn’t plan on an alien encounter, my life had been in such a downward spiral that I had gotten used to expecting the unexpected.”

“So I walk up to her and say, “Ma, we gotta talk.”

“For the last one hundred thirty-one years my job at Mundo Perpetuo has been to stop all the probable and improbable apocalypses that people accidently invoke.”

“This is Carla at the Off-Planet Tax Return helpline, how can I help you?”

“When I came out of the coffee shop with my latte and my fresh walnut brownie, the Archangel Michael was beating the ever-loving shit out of Satan down on the corner.”

“Colonist Roy Wingert gripped his blaster with shaky hands and aimed it at the slimy wormlike creatures wriggling behind his newly deposited pile of crates.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Dearie.”

“Richard the unfriendly ghost woke me.”

“I was faking a nap, checking out the booties of the few ladies in the dayroom under half-closed eyelids, when I saw the delivery man out of the corner of my eye.”

“Number Twenty-Nine watched as three suns set below the blue rim of Eridnae 7 and felt the taste of sour nuglak in his mouth.”

“— The time machine runs on dryer sheets.”

“So you know how everybody else in the world except me is a robot,” I said, and Jimbo nodded and poured a generous dollop of bourbon into the cracked Happy Bear Farms coffee mug on my counter.”

“Squire Ulrich’s very worst day began with cold tea at breakfast, followed by the discovery of a hole in his right greave, and culminating with a lost battle flag.”

“We interrupt your regular programming with a breaking news story from the Tri-County’s favorite local news channel, K-STAR, where the news is the star.”

“There was a man who, like any man at the start of a story, was malcontent.”

“The cardboard box held fewer books than I expected.”

“Nate stared at the purple tag.”

“From: Stef Jones - Tanaka
Subject: Intros
Hey Super Moms!”

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed into Neville, the Crime-Fighting Locomotive.”

“Lying in the dark in a perfectly restful daytime nap, feeling sated with fresh warm blood (Type O Negative, his favorite), Vlad sensed the intruding presence even before the silent alarm triggered his vibrating watch.”

“A few weeks beforehand, the notices began to appear throughout the complex.”

“Detective Sergeant Dena Malone studied the panel in the plush elevator as it bore her and Detective Sergeant Mario Ramos toward the Castana Tower’s 300th floor penthouse.”

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hi, let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy the blog, I love reading each and every comment. :)