Review/My Favorite Quotes/Lines - Kill the Farm Boy

Kill the Farm Boy (The Tales of Pell) by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne

5 out of 5 gnomes

So chock full of punny goodness and funny wordplay. I for one was snort laughing my way through a good portion of this book. Plus now I'm contemplating how awesome bread/cracker based magic powers would be.

Before you know it you'll both be laughing at yet actually caring about all these characters. Toby especially really grew on me. All these characters have some great shining moments in the stories and a lot of funny ones too. Then there's Gustave, I never thought I would be so invested in the antics of a goat.

The chosen one of this story is very entertaining and they meet a heck of a motley crew along the way.

This story is full of surprises and multiple points of view. You'll find yourself questing for knowledge right along with this party trying to figure out what could happen next.

This funny punny book will have you looking at fantasy and all its usual tropes in a new way.

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My Favorite Quotes/Lines:

“I AM THE ALL-POWERFUL DARK LORD, AND I WILL HAVE CRACKERS!”

“Hope it ain’t chickens,” she said. “Never trust ’em, what with their poky beaks. And their buttfruit. I tell you, sire, it’s unnatural, eggs is.”

“The healing potion, a cheap brand called NyeQuell, tasted of licorice and unconsciousness, but Fia had to stay awake.”

“…none of them had ever beheld the magical elven Morningwood before, home to the proudest stands of timber anywhere.”

“Taming the challenges of stately Morningwood would no doubt require two ready hands.”

“Pfauggh! Bran, and it’s dry. What’s the point of Morningwood if it can’t even make a muffin moist?”

“I’d rather see the gentle slopes of the Honeymelon Hills,” Argabella confessed. “All these towers and trees…Well, they do insist upon themselves, don’t they?”

“So, how was everyone’s night?” he asked, supposing that if he was going to be uncomfortable, they should very well do the polite thing and join him.”

“Unlike wizards, who boasted of the height and sturdiness of their towers, witches prided themselves on exhibiting only the perkiest cones.”

“He was simply one of the most dangerous creatures in the world: a person of small talent and large purse who was thoroughly certain that he deserved more.”

“He, too, pronounced it “deh-mez-nee,” but Fia knew that those who learned from books frequently mispronounced words that weren’t spoken often. She herself had thought picturesque was pronounced “picture-squee” until she was sixteen.”

“Sorry,” she said. “I’ll try to keep it down. Marmosets are tragically lactose-intolerant, and I missed the mouthfeel of a nice Styffy.”

“Magic is powerful. You can’t just go around eating everything that sparkles!”

“Perhaps that was the way of people: they just needed to matter.”