The first sentence from each chapter of Hyperbole and a Half, it's a mini summary of what you can expect to read.
“It seems like there should be some sort of introduction to this.”
“When I was ten years old, I wrote a letter to my future self and bur-ried it in my backyard.”
“A lingering fear of mine was confirmed last night: my dog might be slightly retarded.”
“One of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to me was watching myself decide over and over again—thirty-five days in a row—to not return a movie I had rented.”
“My mom baked the most fantastic cake for my grandfather’s seventy-third birthday party.”
“A few months after we adopted the simple dog, we decided that we didn’t have enough dog-related challenges in our lives, so we set out to find a friend for the simple dog.”
“Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me.”
“I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys.”
“One morning, shortly after my family relocated to the mountains of northern Idaho, my sister and I woke up to find our mother lurking im-patiently in our bedroom doorway.”
“Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins.”
“At some important point during my formative years, I accidentally demonstrated a mildly surprising fortitude against spicy food.”
“I have repeatedly discovered that it is important for me not to sur-pass my capacity for responsibility.”
“The toy parrot was given to us by a family friend who either didn’t understand children or hated my parents.”
“The noise started while Duncan and I were watching a scary movie.”
“I have a subconscious list of rules for how reality should work.”
“We’ve known each other for a while now, dogs.”
“At some point during my childhood, my mother made the mistake of taking me to see an orthodontist.”
“I like to believe that I would behave heroically in a disaster situation.”
“On a fundamental level, I am someone who would throw sand at chil-dren.”
